LET YOU DOWN

This is the unofficial music video for a song that I can't seem to get out of my head. I love the sound, the pace, everything. Anyway, Enjoy!

THE HIGHS & THE LOWS

I did warn you from the beginning that I wasn't very good at keeping up with a blog, so I take no responsibility for the fact that I haven't updated for several months. Anyway, I figured I would provide an update for those who were curious as to what I have been up to the last couple of months. Nothing drastic has changed, my major is still Nursing and I am still working for a law office in Boise, though my future prospects have changed.

Boise State is out to drive me to insanity, simply because their Nursing program is absolutely beyond ridiculous. Unfortunately not living in a large city just means that I have limited options to chose from, and I just so happen to live in a city where the program requirements are beyond unreasonable. The bottom line is the fact that I really don't know what my odds are of even getting in. This has been the source of limited amounts of sleep and an enormous amount of wasted energy stressing about it. Not to mention that things in my personal life are kind of up and down at the moment too. I realize that I was getting into this and that I would face a lot of hardship, but I thought I was better prepared.

In order to resolve this really big problem that I can't seem to get over, I have been looking into some options. Though nothing is set in stone, I have an inkling that I will be moving out of state in order to attend a more lenient nursing program. At first, I didn't want to give up on Boise State because they have a very good program, brand new facility, ect. but ultimately, it came down to either retaking classes until I get a 4.0GPA at Boise State an finally apply to MAYBE get it, all the while waiting another two years until I get my degree. By that time I would have been in college for close to 6 years, which makes me cringe at the very thought. I have looked into a couple of schools that have decent programs, and I am mostly focusing my efforts on bigger cities with a wider variety of choices of schools. I have looked into a couple schools in Boston, also New York and Dallas Texas. I haven't come to any definitive conclusions about where I will be when I am doing my clinical nursing stuff, and it definitely will depend on a couple of variables that are changing consistently at the moment, but once those stabilize, it might be moving away from Idaho for a while, at least until I finish my degree and become a certified RN.

As for school, I am doing well. Taking a math class right now that is basically kicking my ass, but I am working hard and learning things that I should have learned in high school and trying to soak it all in. Work is going well, I have been promoted to Subrogation Case Manager/Legal Assistant, (I don't remember if this was anything that was told in previous entries, but somehow I doubt it.) and I am learning a ton and working a lot. I do wish I had a longer break though, I feel the burn out.

It is likely I will be visiting Reno at the end of the month/beginning of August to visit Evan in his hometown, meet his parents, ect. Which will be a really good time. He has seen my stomping grounds, and I have seen where he was living during college, but now I get to see where he spends a lot of the time now, and I get to see him, so that is a big perk!

I just got back from San Francisco with my parents and my grandma, and we had an absolute blast. We got to go to a Giants/Red Sox game with fantastic seats behind third base. We also had some great food and fun experiences. I love that city... it is in my top five of all time favorites alone with Seattle and Chicago. Maybe I will end up around there for the last part of my degree? I get to see Grandma Madsen again in a couple of days considering she and my Aunt Betty are coming up from Salt Lake City for a reunion that has never happened before (last name Lawler) and may not ever happen again. I can't wait to see Grandma and Aunt Betty. It is always fun having them around.

I think that is all for now. Lots of things going on, tired, stressed, busy and ultimately figuring it all out... I'm still young, and I've got time. :)

I'm not afraid to give up or give in

It's the strongest of us

who can fail in the end,

so come on, come on now

give it your best shot.

BLACK WEDNESDAY

Ill start off by saying that I hate it when people arent grateful. I worked really hard, and its just being thrown in my face. Thanks.

I am clearly in an annoyed mood at the moment, and that is due to a million different things, but mostly the fact that I have a horrible kink in my neck that wont go away, along with the fact that I really just dont feel that great, have a miserable headache and the people around me suck sometimes.

ugh. I know I haven't updated in a while, but I needed to vent. I'm supposed to be excited for Chicago... and for some reason, my excitement is lowering as the trip gets closer.

I need to reevaluate some things. Ill write more when I actually feel up to it.

ERROR OPERATOR

You knew this was coming. I know I havent updated in a while, but this is definitely a blog to read if you want to know how crazy some weekends can get, because let me tell you... This weekend we let it all hang out, so to speak. It was the goal to completely let loose. The last couple of weeks had been so crazy with school and mid terms and stress outside of school that I felt like I was going to break.

I really am saving my money for New Heart this year, so I didnt really want to spend a whole lot on any kind of crazy costume. I decided to do the easiest costume I could find, which ended up being a Red Sox jersey and tight black pants. A "player" if you will. It was simple and cute and not over done and I didnt get too hot or anything. Anyway... the night ended up a BLAST. The downtown scene on Holidays is kind of interesting. China Blue, Dirty Little Roddy's and The Main Street Bistro offer a 20$ cover charge for unlimited entrance to all three bars. We opted for that considering the other bars are kind of lame so we opted to do that. We stopped at Roddy's first, Tanner was nice enough to buy me a drink, and we were well on our way.

I did drink a lot this weekend, but I cant even tell you how worth it it all was. We danced most of the night which I am paying for now because my body is just achy all over the place, and we drank and generally just had a really good, free spirited time. It was exactly what I needed. There are pictures on my facebook as well.

This week has been like war for me and school. I have a large rough draft essay due on Thursday(10 pages) and I also have a scientific paper due on Friday that I have to take to the writing center to get an approval from. So lame. I really do feel like I am drowning in all the course work right now. I have a test is Bio on Tuesday and again, feeling under prepared as always, while I still have hope that I can pull off my third A in that class. I also get to register on Friday which is exceptionally exciting considering my schedule for next semester. I will be taking five classes (I havent done that since my first year at BSU) and will still be trying to work two jobs. I will probably cut my hours some at the second job or take over mornings, I havent decided yet.

There is a sense of sadness lingering around me these days and I cant quite figure out what that is all about. I am not 'depressed' or at least I hope I'm not. I think maybe a part of it is loneliness. I live alone right now, and have since May. It actually is really nice, but at the same time I miss having someone constantly around to talk to too. My new roommate, Jenny, is moving in on the 15th which I cant even tell you how excited I am for that. She and I get along perfectly together and I am looking forward to her schedule. She is a house sitter and gone a lot of the time. I know this counteracts what I just told you about liking her being around, but itll be nice to know that someone else lives here. I hate going days sometimes without speaking a single word.

I cant wait for New Heart, and I know you probably are sick of hearing this from me, but seriously... I cant even tell you how excited I am for it. I need it, I need to let loose and have a blast seeing the best band in the world and get to see a city Ive never been too, but possible determined to move too once I become a licensed nurse. Only 43 days left until we leave and I couldn't be counting down the days more. It helps that I'm so busy because it makes the days go by quicker. It feels like we were just planning this!

I am still rigorously speaking with Evan on the phone every night and our conversations just continue to amaze me. I don't remember the last time I actually found someone I can communicate with in a constant basis. We never run out of things to talk about and the conversation always takes an interesting turn. I love surrounding myself with people that are educated. (He is student teaching right now is Coeur d'Alene) I have found out so much about myself in the process and gained a pretty respectable friend in the process. I just need to catch up on my sleep!

All my money wants to go to Sephora too, btw.

That is all. This weekend should be pretty low key, not doing anything too fun aside from venturing to lunch with my good friend Aubrey before her ultrasound (She gets to find out the sex of her baby!) and working on homework which seems to be the story of my life. Possible study group on Sunday and not doing much else. Hope all is well. =]

CURE THIS DISEASE

It's been recently brought to my attention that I am stressed, and one of the biggest problems with that is the fact that I have no way of relieving that stress. There isn't one thing that I do for 'stress relief' but it really got me thinking. Obviously, I don't drink very much. I would be able to say safely I drink three times a month, and none of those times are to really get drunk, but that is all going out the window this weekend. I will get drunk if the situation warrants it, and I will loose control and forget about the last couple weeks, because honestly... they have been hell. I need to suck it up. My schedule for next semester is grueling and long. I don't have any time in the evenings to work, which means I will be working in the mornings if I can and working my ass off basically all semester. I am so sick of this, but I am still so motivated.

Enough complaining about school. I love school and everything that has to do with it. I don't want to sound like I am ungrateful in any way because I'm not. I always get kind of down right around this time because I feel like my head is going to explode from all the school work and Boise State in general.

The Yankees made it to the World Series. UGH.

On a positive note, I think I found someone to loan me an Anatomy and Physiology book that they used in college that contains the same information that will be taught in the Fall when I need it most. I guess I am just looking for a good head start on the information. I think if I study all summer I will have a really good lead on the info and I will be able to easily understand the information. This class is one of the hardest science classes in college; I've heard that from numerous people and it will probably kick my ass but I am aiming for a 4.0.

I love the weather. I know Ive said that people but seriously, this just makes me all happy inside that its getting cold. I love my winter clothing. I love it when it looks dark and dreary outside. It fits my insane mood at the moment.

Tanner and Kyle (A couple of guys I met and bonded with significantly last fall at BSU) are staying with me this weekend and we are all going to the BSU game on Saturday and going downtown for Halloween. This is my first Halloween being 21 and I am taking full advantage, (see above.) Then we will be watching some football game on Sunday morning (I know, I know.. but they are football fans, I just have the channel its playing on.) I think Ill need a weekend to recover from my weekend. =]

My mom was nice enough to buy me some flannel sheets for this winter for my bed. This excites me to no end because I never really did care much because anyone who knows me, knows that I could really care less about sheets. I like a bottom sheet but the top sheet just bugs me. Anyway, I mentioned something to her about them a while ago and she just called to ask what color I wanted. I chose tan because I figured that it would go really good with my duvet cover and everything. When I make my bed this weekend, Ill post a picture and show all those who are interested.

Jasmine is at a Kill Hannah concert right now. This is both exciting and the most depressing thing in the world. I wish I was with her, seeing them play new songs and all that and they still haven't announced any new dates or anything so I am really not sure that they are making it out this way before New Heart. I would be really surprised if they did, but again, I really just don't see that happening. Its too bad too because they are doing meet and greets and I was the leader for that. Oh well. I need to not complain about it because I'm excited that I got all the details of the meet and greet from Jas and yeah, I guess I will just settle for living vicariously.

I think I have rambled for FAR too long about things that are marginally interesting. So Ill leave you with one thought:

"If we all don't take cover, were all gonna to fall back in love again"

GET THROUGH

Its raining outside. This kind of weather always seems to put me into a somber mood. I don't mind it. It actually calms me and that is exactly what I need right now; just a sense of calmness and serenity. Its quite the clash from the previous week. I finally feel at ease and content; far more content than I have been in a long time.

Today was pretty uneventful. Carrera and I went to Sephora and spent a good two hours in there. We sampled everything, and I ended up getting my make up completely done and fell in love with a foundation that I am ordering online that is kind of expensive but completely worth it. I don't know how many of you out there actually care much about make up in this sense but YouTube has some pretty great make up reviews and tutorials, along with Hauls from other people; great advice in general. Obviously I'm not THAT into make up because its tedious and I often don't have a lot of time in the morning to just spend an hour fixing up my face for people I really could care less about... rambling. Ill stop. Sephora was fun... the mall is basically still as lame as ever though. We also went to Target. I would love to know how it is possible you can go to that store with one thing in mind (aka, Hair dye) and walk out with thirty dollars worth of other crap that you don't really need, but thought you really wanted at the time? I worked there. I still have no idea how my paycheck didn't go right back into their hands every single time I got paid. Fact of the matter is- I purchased some nail polish, hair dye, smoothing creme and some other crap I cant even remember now. Lame... so lame. Especially when I am working to save as much money as I can to go to Chicago with.

I want to work out. It is driving me absolutely up the wall. I feel so unmotivated and unhealthy these days that I just feel uncomfortable? Sitting here watching Grey's Anatomy is really the last thing I should be doing in order to change that, but it is SOOO worth it.

The agenda tomorrow? Coffee in the morning and studying for school the rest of the day. I have an absurd amount of homework to do, and it will just be a long day of staying in pajamas and finishing this addictive TV show.

Watching this show make me miss Seattle. It smells like the ocean there, and the city is moving and thriving and alive, and not stuffy like New York... its actually movable. I need a vacation and that might be the first place that I would choose to go. There or San Fransisco. You can never go wrong with either of those places. I should realize that I am getting ready for a pretty big trip coming up in less than two months, but my mind is just wandering. Don't hate. :)

My nails are White... in all inspiration of one Matthew Devine and I kind of adore how pretty the color is for Winter. Normally, I could honestly care less about my nail color, but lately, I feel like feeling prettier; hence the make up and the polish.

"If God gave me grace, than why aren't I graceful?"

I BELIEVE

I am stealing this from Carrera, 50 things that I believe in.

1. I believe in music.

2. I believe in the school system.

3. I believe in this season (fall).

4. I believe in Kill Hannah.

5. I believe in qaulity over quanitiy.

6. I believe in Starbucks.

7. I believe in blind faith.

8. I believe in reconciling.

9. I believe in working.

10. I believe in body modification.

11. I believe in crying.

12. I believe in acceptance.

13. I believe in technology.

14. I believe in traditional values.

15. I believe in nature and science.

16. I believe in love.

17. I believe in time.

18. I believe in the night.

19. I believe in being warm.

20. I believe in laughing.

21. I believe in sadness.

22. I believe in small happiness'

23. I believe in affection.

24. I believe in fear.

25. I believe in learning every day.

26. I believe in reading.

27. I believe in arguing.

28. I believe in hot chocolate.

29. I believe in coming home.

30. I believe in youtube.

31. I believe in sharing.

32. I believe in the Twilight series.

33. I believe in midnight movies.

34. I believe in confession.

35. I believe in atheism.

36. I believe in the future.

37. I believe in the past.

38. I believe in the escape.

39. I believe in Jasmine.

40. I believe in missing out.

41. I believe in sacrifice.

42. I believe in re-building.

43. I believe in big cities.

44. I believe in nursing.

45. I believe in pain.

46. I believe in family, and having one of my own.

47. I believe in equality.

48. I believe in being girly sometimes.

49. I believe in the people around me.

50. I believe in myself.

THE ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS

I feel tired and emotional. There is a sense of longing for someone to be around, for someone to be there to talk too, but I can’t find them. I'm feeling a little lost all of a sudden.

I have nothing to be sad about, which is why this is so frustrating. I need to move on, and I will of course. I didn’t have class tonight, which I am so thankful for. I feel like if I push any more information into my head it might explode and I might get pushed fully off the edge. The break was needed.

My apartment is a mess. It’s driving me absolutely insane because I can’t find the motivation to clean it. I know that I need too. I need to get all my clothes out of the spare bedroom so that it’s clean and nice for when Tanner and Kyle come over during Halloween weekend, that and my roommate is moving in shortly after that.

Have I mentioned how much I love this weather? I wish it would stay like this. I love the changing colors of my city and how pretty everything is. It’s my favorite time of year to be on campus as well because you can literally smell fall. I stressed about a biology test for nothing. I received a ninety four percent on the test, when I thought I was maybe going to be getting a mid B or a little higher. The ‘A’ truthfully as a bit of a surprise, but a good one nonetheless.

I'm craving coffee. A Venti Cinnamon Dolce that I can savor and walk around and contemplate because I feel so irritated with a lot of things right now. This blog entry is mostly just rambling, I don’t know if I will say anything relevant or interesting. If you are still reading, then I commend you.

This might sound sad, but I miss L.A. Ink... and I miss my social life to a certain degree. Parts of me wish I could go out and just have six drinks and get wasted beyond oblivion so that I can just let loose and settle down. I won’t do that though... but I do think I need some sort of break from the internet. I won’t take that break, because I am far too connected, but I do recognize that I need it.

I think I just need a vacation. I can’t stop listening to 'Vultures' by Kill Hannah and strongly considering some of the lyrics as part of a tattoo concept for Chicago. Not sure yet though. I need a best friend again. Carrera, where are you?

This was far more depressing then I intended. I should open the window and let some light inside.

If you don’t know what PostSecret is, then I highly recommend you check it out. www.postsecret.blogspot.com. Its enlightening.

SAVE ME

WELL, Well, well... things have taken an interesting turn. Certain relationships have been resolved, and all in all I have been put into a pretty superior place. I was allowed to register for spring, so I have all my classes picked out for next semester. Nothing exciting or exceptional, pretty boring to tell you the truth but the good news is it’s the last semester of redundant stupid electives that mean nothing and then I get to move into the awesome nursing courses I have been so anxious to take.

Despite it being a pretty decent week, it’s been pretty emotionally draining and hard at work. I know that I am getting more legal responsibility at work, but it really makes me cringe when I think that this could be a possible profession. I wouldn't want to do this if my life depended on it. All in all though, I feel good about more responsibility, but I am definitely scared of letting people down.

I have been called a 'Type A' personality a lot recently. This strikes me as hilarious and flattering all at the same time. I have never been a 'Type A' personality. In high school I didn't apply myself and didn't listen to authority and I don't remember studying for a test a single time. Now, I find myself studying multiple hours for one test, and the payoff is absolutely perfection and the biggest ego boost I could ask for. I want to go to the library and shove myself into subjects I'm not even taking yet just so that I have a head start when the class comes. I have NEVER been this motivated in my entire life, and I am working my ass off and I love it to death. It’s just funny to me, because I have never been organized and super focused like that, but I really enjoy hearing multiple people tell me this and I feel a little proud of the fact that I am becoming that person, motivated and determined to get what I want, no matter what it takes.

I have gotten literally no sleep in the last week. This is due in part to my relentlessly long conversations with Evan that I don't even care to mention how many hours we've spent on the phone in the last couple of days, but it’s by far ridiculous. I don't mind though... I have found out more about myself in the last week then I thought I even cared to know, and I thank him for that. He has also given me some enlightenment when it comes to some music that I had been missing out, to my utter dismay. The Cure - Disintegration and Adore by the Smashing Pumpkins. If you haven't heard anything from either of these albums I recommend it with my whole heart. (Though, I think Evan has me convinced that I am probably the only person in history that hasn't heard at least ONE song) Anyway, good stuff. I am super glad to know him, and HEY... he has the same obsession with Kill Hannah that I do... what could be better?

I am counting down the days till Chicago... I keep hearing all this hype about it online and everything and the dates have been officially announced which gives me some serious peace of mind. I feel like a twelve year old. I want to go buy some construction paper and cut them in to multi-colored strips and chain them together and hang them around my room, like I used to do when I counted down to Christmas, and you know... you would just tear off a chain every day. I looked forward to that every December... Think it’s too early to start? But basically I just can’t believe how close it is already... It seems like just yesterday I was just talking to Jasmine about this and contemplating it. I didn't dream that I would actually make it happen, but that seems to be my life lately; taking a hold of the reins and controlling where I want to go and who I want to be.

I think I might have blabbed a bit too long now. This weekend will be filled with fun. Carrera is coming over, were going to Sephora to search out make up for a couple hours on Friday and then we will dive right into some premature studying for core classes she and I both have to take. (Type A, remember... =]) And relax all weekend. I'm on the edge looking over, terrified and completely thrilled.

"Will you be there for me when I'm falling to pieces?"

I TRULY HEAR THINGS IN THE NIGHT

So I suppose I can give you guys some more information regarding my major change since a lot of people who read this will be family and whatnot. Anyway... you might be thinking why in the world I chose nursing over communications, being that the two are very different. A lot of people didn't know that I wanted to be a nurse in high school. I actually took the necessary classes and became CNA certified, but when I was going through my rebellious phase I sort of pushed the thought aside, casting my inability to do math and science as sort of the catalyst to not do the work. I never really applied myself in high school; I never tapped that hidden potential that parents and teachers are always going on and on about. When I finally broke that barrier, turns out, I'm pretty damn fascinated with Science and will work my butt off to do something with Math. The shaky feeling I get when I think about what I have to do though is really scary. The requirements to get into Boise State's nursing program are really daunting. Of course there is a GPA requirement, and of course you have to have a 3.5 or better in Math, Chemistry, and Anatomy and Physiology. The three hardest classes in that specific program, and all things I don't know that I will be good at. I do recognize that A&P is mostly just memorization, which I shouldn't have an issue with because I did so well with memorization in high school for speech and debate. But the math and chemistry is really scary. I am going to utilize everything that the campus offers in order to get through it. I am aiming for a 4.0 in all of the classes so that I don’t have to even worry about my stance in the program. This is truly what I want, I always have, and it just took some time to open my eyes.

iSuck

So, I don’t really know why I have this inability to stay active on a blog, but I really cannot seem to keep one going. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I am so incredibly busy that talking about my life and the things in it seems like the most redundant thing to do after a long day of work and school, or if it’s more that I see what blogging has done to the people around me, and the negative effects that seem to linger.

It seems that everywhere I look, people have blogs, and they are so excited about them. This is my third blog I have tried to keep, and I suck at it. This proves to be sort of ironic in a sense because I actually adore all things technology and all things that have to do with the internet. I am regularly on Twitter and Facebook and a number of other sites, but sitting down to write about myself just doesn’t really feel that real to me.

But let’s give this a try again. It’s been a seriously emotional week for me. I don’t even really know where to begin and I won’t even really let you in on the details of the week because they are far too personal to openly express on a public blog. Let’s just say my mind got taken on quite the roller coaster ride. From feeling and being attacked for no reason, to reconnecting with a friend I thought I might never again, thing are summed up rather simply; it’s been a good week.

School and work are over the top obnoxious at the moment. I just feel like right around this time, middle of October moving into November really starts wearing me thin. I feel the pressure of midterms and the changing seasons and I know that something heavy is coming. Finals week this year is in mid-December, which isn't any surprise, except I leave for Chicago the day after my last final. Talk about nerve racking and stressful. I know this is two months off, but my neurotic brain just can’t shut off these sorts of worries.

That brings me to Chicago. I am going to a weekend concert with my good friend Jasmine for six days in December. I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I am for the trip. I want it to be December now so that I can be on a flight to one of the coldest places in the US and standing in line to see the most amazing bad in the history of music (according to me, of course.) Did I mention that they called me? KILL HANNAH actually gave me a call on my cell phone last Saturday to simply thank me for some of the promotional work that I am doing for them. I can’t tell you how epic THAT was, but that’s a whole other rant, and I won’t bore you with, since the people who generally care that much already know every detail of the phone call. Needless to say, I ADORE this band, as people and for what they do with their music.

I think I'm beginning to ramble. So happy I'm talking to Carerra again, she and I have always had so much in common and the irony of reconnecting on the same ground that we now have in common when both of our lives have taken such different directions is absolutely crazy. I also thank her for helping me begin my long journey into nursing school.

That’s right, I changed my major. I am becoming a nurse. This is good news all around. =]

It is 2:34am right now, after a week of very little sleep, I am going to crawl into my bed and try my hardest to fall asleep, and tomorrow... my goal is midnight, even if it kills me. Ill post again soon, I hope.

songs tied to memories

Im ripping off Jasmine, but she ripped me off first. xD

5 songs you need to listen too. and download. and love. foreverandeverandever.

ALOC ACOC - BRAND NEW
http://www.myspace.com/brandnew

BITTER SONG - BUTTERFLY BOUCHER
http://www.myspace.com/butterflyboucher

EVERYTHING I ONCE HAD - THE HONORARY TITLE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-0jo9ILIxY

BIG SHOT - STRAYLIGHT RUN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5uect48Vcc

VINDICATED - DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL
http://www.myspace.com/dashboardconfessional

I love it when it looks like Im about to drive into a big black hole.

BORED.

I still have an hour and ten minutes sitting in an empty lab, with nothing to do. Its been like this all night.
Quiet, too quiet.

Lifted

''One is left with the horrible feeling now that war settles nothing; that to win a war is as disastrous as to lose one." -

Agatha Christie


<------- Andrew Mcmahon, Lead singer and Pianist for Jack's Mannequin, easily in my top five favorite bands in the world.

www.jacksmannequin.com

Does the word Recession mean anything?

Listening to- Under the Milkyway, Kill Hannah
Eating- Tomato soup, saltine crackers, Sunkist fruit snacks

I dont get why people who are asking for money in a depression, are rude. For example, I just got off the phone with Curtis from the disabled firefighters fund. He was calling for my boss, and he insisted on speaking with him. Well, my boss is currently at lunch and I told him that he was unavailable. He laughed at me and said "When will I actually get to talk to him?" I replied politely "I will give him the message and he will get back with you when he able." He laughed again in that same condescending tone and then hung up.

I just dont think this is the way to go about asking for donations, especially when everyone is kind of suffering.

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD YOURE WHAT?

I'm kind of over the whole Twilight phenomenon. I think I just heard a million fourteen years old girl scream at the top of their lungs in horror, but seriously. We all know that Robert Pattinson is the hottest thing since NSYNC, but I think we just need to settle down. The books were great, and provided a well needed escape from the reality that is we will never, ever have a story book romance like Edward and Bella. I loved the movie, and I own it, and I will watch it. I just think its time for me to actually accept my age, and come back down to reality.

A reality I am more then willing to accept.

I'm a Believer?

As I sit in my room that is freshly cleaned, trying to get a paper written, my laptop is blaring a band that I just cant seem to get enough of. I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact that I might be in love with a fictional character that's face is Mat Devine's (see picture), but it also could have something to do with the fact that the minute I hear one of their songs, my skin starts to tingle and it shakes me to the core. 

Rarely, if ever, do I come across a band that I so whole heatedly fall in love with. Well, move over Brand new. Ive found my new squeeze.

It makes me wonder how absolutely powerful music can be. While I do not go so far as to have my iPod hooked permanently to my ears, and preach that music is life. No, music is not life to me. I would be able to live without it if I had too, though I think life might be considerably more boring without. But let me just put it this way; I need Kill Hannah.

I purchased the DVD of their tour back in 2008, and again fell more in love, if possible, with the band. With the referral from my Internet BFFL, I watched all three hours without tearing my eyes away from the screen. I was captivated, and falling faster and harder then I ever thought possible. And with that starts my long term relationship with a band that I can now easily call my absolute favorite next to Brand New.

The only thing I have to say- Thanks jassy, for opening my eyes to the wonderful world of Kill Hannah, and everything in between.

Welcome to the Fallout

My name is Emily, and I am going to 

try my very hardest to keep this blog.